Day 1
In that hazy place in between sleep and awake, before getting up this morning, I saw myself crouched next to Boris, stroking his head, telling him I loved him. A few quiet, precious moments passed. And I saw the vet put the stethescope to his heart and she whispered "He's gone." That jolted me out of my hazy dream state and I realized that my dream was real. I only had to turn and look just a few feet to my left and see Boris' empty bed to know that it was very real. And that my dream is exactly what happened yesterday.
I wasn't going to post anything today. All I have to talk about is how much I miss Boris. And how everything reminds me that Boris is gone. Like the message I got on my voicemail today from the oncologist's office calling to confirm an appointment for tomorrow that we made three months ago for a recheck and chest xrays. How joyously happy I was that day when I made that appointment, knowing that the check up we were there for that day went so well. And having no idea how so very wrong everything would be today. But then I realized that's not all I have to talk about. I had to get out of bed this morning and face the day and the world. And I immediately decided that I wanted to go to the park and take Roxie for a walk. She's here and full of life, eager to experience its wonders and to share them with me. And as Boris taught me, life is to be lived! So the hubby, Roxie and I all went to the park today and took a nice, long walk. I found myself unable to stop walking and I didn't want to leave. It was weird to only have one flexi leash in my hand. But if I closed my eyes, I could hear the sound of Boris galloping towards us and feel the whoooosh of him running by. He doesn't need his leash.
Roxie had a very good walk today. When we put her in the back of the DogMobile to head home, she plopped down on the bed back there and started rolling around on her back. It was drizzly outside and she was a bit soggy from the weather and from running through puddles. She was just drying herself off. But it's a funny thing to watch. She flops around, burrows under blankets, and makes grumbly sounds. And then she layed on her side, tail wagging, looking up at us oh so contentedly. I think she had fun! I did too.
I wasn't going to post anything today. All I have to talk about is how much I miss Boris. And how everything reminds me that Boris is gone. Like the message I got on my voicemail today from the oncologist's office calling to confirm an appointment for tomorrow that we made three months ago for a recheck and chest xrays. How joyously happy I was that day when I made that appointment, knowing that the check up we were there for that day went so well. And having no idea how so very wrong everything would be today. But then I realized that's not all I have to talk about. I had to get out of bed this morning and face the day and the world. And I immediately decided that I wanted to go to the park and take Roxie for a walk. She's here and full of life, eager to experience its wonders and to share them with me. And as Boris taught me, life is to be lived! So the hubby, Roxie and I all went to the park today and took a nice, long walk. I found myself unable to stop walking and I didn't want to leave. It was weird to only have one flexi leash in my hand. But if I closed my eyes, I could hear the sound of Boris galloping towards us and feel the whoooosh of him running by. He doesn't need his leash.
Roxie had a very good walk today. When we put her in the back of the DogMobile to head home, she plopped down on the bed back there and started rolling around on her back. It was drizzly outside and she was a bit soggy from the weather and from running through puddles. She was just drying herself off. But it's a funny thing to watch. She flops around, burrows under blankets, and makes grumbly sounds. And then she layed on her side, tail wagging, looking up at us oh so contentedly. I think she had fun! I did too.
posted by TheDoberwoman @ 12:56 PM
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